So, OCI applications end on Tuesday. I’ve got a few cover letters to finish, but then I’m freeeee.
At least until I get an interview.
Don’t look at me like that. You guys, I have to get an interview.
For the 0Ls who are confused, OCI stands for “On-Campus Interviews.” OCI is basically a giant job fair that happens every fall, with a smaller version that happens in the spring. The employers who attend are largely Biglaw Bigfirm, LLP, and once upon a time [before the great associate slaughter of 2008], law students could look forward to OCI. Why? Well, there’d be an interview. They’d like you. They’d hire you for the summer. And [here’s the important part]: at the end of the summer, they would hire you to come back after you graduate. You know, like a real-live grownup job. Anyway, that’s how the legend goes.
I mean, theoretically, it’s still supposed to work that way. However, judging by the last two classes of 3Ls, I’m not so sure. For some people, it does work out. For others, it doesn’t. C’est la vie, right?
Being the diligent student I am, I’ve spent the past week editing and submitting cover letters, writing samples, and resumes. However, you didn’t come here to hear the nuts and bolts of OCI, or hear another drab description of job applications. You came here for the absurdity. And, my application process was not without absurdity.
First, there’s the cover letter. Most cover letters read: “Dear Recruiting Coordinator, My name is Law Student and I am applying to be a summer associate at Biglaw Bigfirm. I have [geographic connection to where office is located] and I am especially interested in your firm because [something the firm is really good at]. In my previous position at [reference to past career] I did [awesome thing here]. In law school, I have a [3.7 or better GPA] and I’m a proud member of [name of law review here]. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.”
If you think I’m kidding, go to your school’s career services office and ask for an example cover letter. And that’s fine; it wouldn’t be an example if it didn’t work. However, when you’re me [not on law review, no fancy gpa] you’ve got to be more creative. SO, in a fit of madness it dawned on me:
THAT, led to my creation of the greatest cover letter of all time:
Hello law firms, how are you? Fantastic. Do your clerks think like me? No. Can they work like me? Maybe. Should you hire me to work for you? I don’t know. Do you like the smell of success? Do want a clerk who can write you a brief as clever and solid as if it were written by Scalia’s own hand? Of course you do. Swan dive! into the best hire of your life. So law firms: should you hire me to work for you? You tell me.
To be fair, I got the idea for that awesome cover letter from a friend who said he should use that commercial as a video application for graduate school. I decided it would make a great cover letter. And it DID.
THEN, one of my classmates told me that if I went with that, I would definitely have to have a video resume:
(My favorite part is the waterfall of AWESOME)
After that, I decided my paper resume should just be a picture of something awesome. Like a dinosaur.
But alas, logic and sensibility won out, and I settled down to write my little cover letter, update my traditional resume, and keep my fingers crossed like everyone else. 50+ applications later, crossed-fingers is all I’ve got left. We’ll see what happens.